Social Media Rant

This post contains some jokes, sarcasm and dark humour; and I will use a percentage sign (%) to denote sentences with sarcasm so that I don’t get hate-mail from people who don’t understand otherwise.
As I scroll through my facebook wall, I notice all happy people posting happy shit like happy selfies, happy reunions with happy old friends, happy memories with other happy people and happy feelings or simply being happy. (Still waiting for my name to be written in some record book for the highest number of “happy” word in one sentence %). I get a mixed feeling of confusion and annoyance. Both are caused by the same question which is “How can all these people be happy all the time?” But, after a few seconds, my emotional side takes a back seat while I start to analyse the maths behind it all.
I have, currently, 1100+ friends on my facebook (I also don’t know how, so don’t ask.) My common assumption is that out of those 1100 people, 700 would be active one facebook from time to time. Now, taking my personal experience into account, I can assume that a person is happy at least once a week (AT LEAST). (Unless you have cancer. People with terminal illnesses are happy everyday, I think %). Anywho, if these 700 people post about their happiness once a week, I’d get bombarded with a 100 happy posts on my wall everyday. Considering facebook’s organic post display, this number might drop to 25 (Thank you facebook for limiting the scope of posts on my wall to all the things I agree with.. I won’t get closed minded that way %). But, considering the fact that people do post about their happiness more than once a week, the number rises and my wall is filled with happy people doing their happy shit.
Now you might be wondering why I didn’t take sad people into account. I did that at first. But, according to me, only two types of people post sad things on fb. Either it is shameless people like me or attention whores who post sad vague quotes so that they get comments. The other thing is that, if you’re a guy like me, you mostly tend to ignore most sad posts and facebook’s organic post display starts removing most sad posts from my wall leaving my wall with selfies and videos and all that shit. (Thank you facebook again% ).
This makes me wonder if people who don’t do maths (%?) don’t realise this and start comparing their OK lives to the lives of people on the internet. That sounds really depressing and funny in a way. Also, what about the people uploading the HAPPY HAPPY content. I mean they can’t ALWAYS be happy. That’s not humanly possible. In other words,¬† Humans didn’t evolve to be constantly content. Contented Australophithecus Afarensis got eaten before passing on their genes. I mean, I do understand that people do tend to share the best part of their lives with their friends and loved ones (or people you randomly added at a failed attempt to connect with the rest of the virtual world %). I wonder if they try to project that perfect ALWAYS HAPPY person unto other so much that they start hating themselves. I mean I would really feel shitty if I had to project myself as happy all the time and not go on rants and discussions.
Maybe I’m analysing it too much like I over-analyse most things. Maybe it’s just people posting content and my shitty brain just picking on the happy ones in a subconscious attempt to write this post. Whatever the true case may be, I think people are sad most of the times with short bursts of happiness from time to time which gives their life enough meaning to stop them from ending it. It’s just a hypothesis from a sleep deprived moron who’s stretched a simple idea to a long long post. What do I know? I’m not even a psychology major.
But in the course of writing this post, it does seem intuitive that there is a probability that people are sad most of the times and happy only sometimes. So, from a sad and lonely guy who just realised this, Cheers. You’re not sad and lonely, alone.

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